Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The Haiku

Last week, my son returned home with a rather disturbing drawing, and a story to match. He is in first grade. In a mild panic, I called my sister.

“So, what do you think?” I asked.

“I think it’s disturbing. Do you remember the time Mom was called into the Guidance Office for YOU?”

Oh. Right. I had this creative writing teacher. Who, in spite the fact that she was probably well educated and well intentioned, had been transformed by my pre-teen angst into a dumb, nasty, witch.

Our assignment was to take four half-sheet cards and draw four watercolor pictures of the four seasons. For each season, we were to write a haiku.

I thought this was a colossally stupid, dumb and BO-ring idea. (Imagine me with my hands on my hips with some 12-year old scowl on my face.) Of course, I didn’t actually put my hands on my hips and make a scowl, I just decided to be obnoxiously obedient.

I decided to draw four very BO-ring (exactly the same) drawings. I would change the colors for the seasons, but that is all. I would write four very light and sappy haikus. Because, I thought the teacher’s brain was light and sappy and she would probably even LIKE it. Fine.

Winter. I drew a white landscape, a blue sky, and a small, leafless tree on the right side in the distance. I wrote a sappy haiku about a stark, lonely, and beautiful winter.

Spring. I drew a green landscape, a blue sky (with openings for white clouds), and a tree with leaves on the right side in the distance. I wrote a sappy haiku about budding leaves and the beauty of spring.

Summer. I drew a green landscape (with a little brown), a blue sky without clouds, and a tree with leaves on the right side in the distance. I wrote a sappy haiku about a happy summertime.

Fall. At this point, I had no interest in spending time drawing different color leaves. I drew a dark purple landscape with an orange-yellow sky. I drew a leafless tree on the right side in the distance. I decided it was late Fall. Fine. Done.

As I was touching up the landscape, a big blob of dark paint fell from my brush onto my beautiful orange sky. In a panic, I quickly picked up the card, and watched the big gray blob of paint drip down to meet my landscape.

After staring a hole into the “ruined” card, I realized that my big gray blob did add something to my picture, and I wrote the following haiku, which I remember to this day:

Nuclear mushrooms, Blooming on the Autumn plain, Take claim on the world.

Ha! Done! I turned in my pictures with Autumn at the bottom.

And, within a few days, my mother received a call from the school wondering why her daughter so cheerfully predicted the end of the world . . . .

My son’s picture remains on our refrigerator.

And, on the right side in the distance, I hear my mother’s laughter.


Working Glass Gal said...

MIT Mommy?
Please scan and post the picture
We can't wait to see...

Anonymous said...

Great! He has an active imagination!

Badass Geek said...

I want to see this picture... I'm intrigued.

MIT Mommy said...

Yes, an active imagination for sure. I am attempting to put a picture up. I don't plan on keeping it posted, but I will send whoever comments an email when it is up so you can see it. Deal?

I'm certainly not embarrassed, but I don't think my son would want it up, and I try to be respectful of the kids.

Rachel said...

I wanna see your sons picture...what irony is this story. Love it!

Rachel said...

This is absolutely hilarious...save this picture!!!

Indy said...

I want to see it too but can't. It is too light. Can you help us out?

Indy said...

I clicked on your new ads for you. :) I think they only let you click (for pay) two times a day. Happy Birthday!

MIT Mommy said...

Hope you guys saw it. If not, let me know.